Judge Others: A Test

Now before taking this test, it is best to first read this post on how to Show you are a Manila Boyz! If you already have, then move on with this test.

This will be a simple test comprised of two parts. For the first one, judge these people:

1. Mr. Selfie in a mall with an SLR

Selfie? At a mall? With an SLR???

2. No shirt guy declaring his love


The second part of this test will have more weight than the first part. Time to name the price for these girls!

1. It’s all about the pose!



2. Hmmmm…



Let us know your answers in the comment box!


Show that you are a Manila Boy!

Being part of Manila Boyz is hard work. Aside from having to be awesome and be the best, you also have other obligations to society to spread your thoughts. This time around, we explore the rules of being Manila Boyz on how to show your true color to the world!

Always say what’s on your mind, never hold back. Be part of the fucking conversation.

People around talking an you’re quiet? But why?! Be part of the fucking conversation even if you have to change topic! What you say is always more important than what others have to say. Be the “bangka” in the table and don’t let anyone say more than one sentence ahead of you. The actual topic is not important. As long as it’s in your head, it should be in their ear.

I will not lie, this rule takes mastery of doucheyness to pull off. The most important thing is that your mouth keeps working and the conversation is always about what you are thinking. A tip for beginners, you can always refer to the other rules. For example, whip out your cellphone, show a picture of someone on Facebook, and judge the person!

Always judge others; never yourself! And whenever defining others, use monetary figures.

The girl in yellow and sarong: SCORE 5.5, PRICE P500; the girl in the green bikini: SCORE 7, PRICE P3,000; a friend with very big and wonderful “future”: SCORE 7, PRICE P5,000 for the pair; and finally, the sexy long-haired classmate lathered in lavender scented sunblock lotion (SPF 50) wearing brown two-piecestring bikiniplaying “unggoy-ungguyan” with you and your friends in a rattan cabana: SCORE 9.6, PRICE P150,000. This is the lost art of all the creative-minded guys out there. To define other people, especially hot chicks, requires the mastery of all human senses. A purely heterosexual guy must always possess telescopic eyes to see, sensual touch to feel, and an unbelievably erogenous tongue and mouth for pleasure and taste. You should always judge other people, life is a contest; you are either a winner or a loser. Girls with high scores would and should always merit a high market value. The things to bear in mind whenever putting a price on other people are the following: the face value; hot-body figure; intellectual prowess; “display” factor, and; the sexual stimulation upon sight.

Now for your first test, click on this link.

First Rules of being Manila Boyz

So what are the Manila Boyz? Well, to understand us, you have to know the rules. So without further ado, here are the first two rules to remember:

Always start a conversation with the locals or introduce yourself by saying: “Hello! I’m from Manila… Bitch!”

Being a humble citizen of the greatest place of them all; Metro Manila, one should always be proud and enthusiastic to let everyone know where you’re from. You must never be ashamed of where you live. Metro Manila is the best place compared to the rest. It is like the tiny piece of pork in a can of pork-and-beans, it is the “happy horse” bottle in a case of Red Horse Beer or the hardcore-porn channel in a motel TV. We should be self-gratified and therefore always remind others of their difference in stature from us. Metro Manila is the “Christine Reyes” of the Philippines; laspagperonapaka-ganda,talong-taloangiba. Other locals should not be compared nor placed in the same level with us. So always remind them that they are lower and inferior. Put them in their proper place, always maintain that you are the better person, and say it directly to their face, even if they don’t understand the English language.

Other Manila-Boy vacationist, you SUCK!

Who said narcissism is a bad thing? As defined by the intelligent minds of Wikipedia, it is the pursuit of gratification from vanity, or egotistic admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes, that derive from arrogant pride. The words to remember are: gratification, admiration, and pride (GAP). A person should always be satisfied with oneself and himself only. You don’t need others for you to be the best. Other “manila-boys”, are nothing, but a second rate, trying hard, copycats. You should always appreciate who you are.